Shimmer
by seekingHARRY
Summary: Cady Berkeley had a secret. A secret that could save the world. Yet the world had no clue who she was. Will she overcome the shadows that cover her? Or will she remain in the shadows forever? Rated T for now. -ABANDONED-
1. Don't Know Why

_**Disclaimer- **__I sadly do not own anything of the magical world of Harry Potter. __Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling and Warner Bros. I in no way claim ownership of any rights to the Harry Potter Universe._ _That honor belongs to JK Rowling. Any quotes that I take from JKR will be in bold lettering._

_I also do not own the song _Don't Know Why _by _Norah Jones.

_**AN-**__ So here's the first chapter. Hope you like it! I've been working on this for half a year now, so I hope you love it as much as I do. There's a few chapters down, but I can't promise quick updates, I'll try though. Don't forget to review!_

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_**CADY'S POV**_

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Invisibility.

_The power to __be concealed from public eye._

In some eyes, it would be a gift. In others, a burden. To me, a life style.

I am in all sense an invisible.

Perceived to others as just another face in a crowd of many. Another voice in a jumble of sound. It had always been that way for as long as I could remember. I am ordinary; well as ordinary as a witch can be. I've walked the corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for five years, totally unnoticed by all.

I don't mind it. It's always been like this. I can accept the fact that I'll always be asked if I've always gone to this school, or what my name is. Or – my favorite – did I just appear out of nowhere.

It's not their fault either – they can't help it. It's human nature. We don't see what's hidden beneath the surface; camouflaged to look like its surroundings.

The thing is I _like_ this life style. I _like _not being noticed. I _like_ who I am. I can do fricking magic (way cool), I've got so much money that I don't know what to do with it, but most of all I've got the BEST friends a girl can have; the Shimmer Girls.

'The Shimmer Girls' is our group name. I know real original right? Well Shellie came up with it in second year. That should explain a lot. We're pretty much Lily Evans' Crew. Though Lily was never actually named official leader; she just happens to be the most popular of us all.

There's four of us; Lily Evans, Evangeline Brooks, Shellie Taylor and me – Cady Berkeley.

Lily is the smart studious one; the perfect student. She's also dead gorgeous without even trying. Her long auburn locks and piercing emerald green eyes give her that natural beauty that every single girl at school envies. Oh, and did I mention James Potter – second hottest male at Hogwarts – is her starker?

Yep, it's kind of creepy.

Evangeline is our very own Barbie doll. She's got all the curly blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. It's as if she was made to reel in the blokes. And of course, she loves the attention – cue eye roll – and almost _basks_ in it. But we love her anyway, because she's _our_ Barbie doll.

Then there's Shellie. Shellie, Shellie, Shellie. Her whole look pretty much explains her personality, with her short messy black hair and giant green eyes that are almost always twinkling with excitement. She's the ultimate crazy. But you can't help but love her and her spunky attitude and her love for art. And I mean every kind of art. That includes hair cutting.

…

Yeah, it's exactly what you think.

And last but not least, there's me. Little Cady Berkeley the quiet one that no one even cares to understand. But in total honesty, I'm quite a complicated girl.

See I come from a very wealthy pureblood family; the Berkeleys. So you could understand that my mother has very high expectations. And it doesn't help that I'm one of the most powerful witches to be born in about a hundred years.

Yep, you heard me right. I'm _that_ powerful.

We found out when I was about three years old and I'd done accidental magic and exploded the kitchen table. A few days after the incident – in which my mother praised me to no end – Professor Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts, came to our house.

In pureblood families every child – once they've shown magical abilities – are tested for the strength of their inner core. The inner core is pretty much where all your magic congregates inside of you, like a power source.

Anyways, when Professor Dumbledore tested me, they all were quite shocked. You see, the average level for an _adult's_ inner core is about nine. Mine was ten.

Spooky, huh? Yeah, I'm some super witch or something.

But after they got over the shock they had to start thinking about what would happen in the future; primarily Hogwarts. Professor Dumbledore suggested I stay in the same year with people of my age, but take private lessons with him so I don't become bored.

And it worked too, for the past six years I've been taking private lessons with Dumbledore on whatever he can think of. I've learned advanced Arithmancy, Patronuses (in second year mind you), advanced Transfiguration, how to brew many rare Potions such as Amortentia and Felix Felicis, wandless magic (so cool), Apparation, how to make Portkeyes (without the ministry knowing), and advanced work in almost all my classes.

But my favorite of all is my Animagus abilities. It feels so amazing to run around the Forbidden Forest on all fours and feel the wind whipping my face. Free from the world. What's my form, you ask? Well I think you mean what are my _forms_.

Yep, I've got multiple Animagus forms. So I guess it's Animagi? Well whatever it is, I've got two of them. A fox and an owl. An Arctic Fox to be exact. I've been told that my fox form is quite startlingly beautiful; graceful almost. My owl form on the other hand, is adorable – their words not mine – and I'm assuming it's because I'm an elf owl. You know, the one's that can practically fit in your palm and can be barely seen when they are in the sky. I guess it can be a good thing, I'm almost inconspicuous.

But I have to say I'm in love with my fox form; or Powder as I've decided to call her. Quite brilliant I know. But I just love the feeling of running through the forest, completely unseen, with the wind rushing past and my vision sharp. It's actually quite weird having night vision, but I've gotten used to it.

So, yeah, I'm a lot more than people care to find out. Of course, I haven't exactly told anyone about my Animagus forms. My friends know how powerful I am and how I'm taking extra classes, but I've never told a single soul – not even my parents – about my forms. Of course, Dumbledore knows since he was the one who taught me, and he's been sworn to secrecy.

Now I'm going into my seventh and final year at Hogwarts, the last year of fun and carelessness. The last year before we'll be forced into the war our parents have been fighting for us. The last year of happiness.

Why, do you ask, am I such a downer? Because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing after this year. I could do anything I wanted; with my power and knowledge I could be anything from a potions master to an Unspeakable to a librarian. It's totally up to me. And that's my problem. The only thing I know that I love is music. I know, the most powerful witch of our age just wants to sing and play her guitar. But I have other interests too, like maybe being an Auror. Don't ask me why, I'm not sure. I just have this feeling in my gut that it's the right way to go.

Maybe I'll get to the end of the year and end up just flipping a coin. It wouldn't be a totally bad idea. It would take the pressure off of me. Hmmm… decisions, decisions.

Anyways, the gist of it is that I'm powerful. _Very_ powerful.

And this all brings us to where I am now, sitting cross legged on my bed with my guitar gripped in my hands, my notebook and quill sitting beside me.

I strum the first cord and feel the vibration thrill through my body.

'_I waited 'til I saw the sun  
I don't know why I didn't come  
I left you by the house of fun  
I don't know why I didn't come  
I don't know why I didn't come'_

_Yep, that should do. Sounds just right. _

Quickly, I jotted down the lyrics into my notebook and put my guitar beside my bed. Now I had about two minutes before the house elf came up to lead me to breakfast and I'd have to sit through my mother's constant chatter about her rich friends and their rich lives.

I swear my gag reflexes are only so good, so it's not my fault if I up chuck my dinner right there at the table.

'Miss Berkeley,' I jumped at the sound of my personal house elf Blinky. I'd made sure that when we'd gotten her that she had proper clothes, so now she wore an apron and white dress. 'It's time for dinner Miss.'

''Kay,' I leapt off my bed and grabbed onto the little elf's hand. The dining hall was all the way downstairs you see, so Blinky would just Apparate – or whatever they did – us down so we didn't have to walk the many stairs and hallways. It was quite convenient really.

We disappeared quickly and arrived in front of the large doors that led to the dining hall. I've learned that appearing straight into the hall was a bad idea. My mother has quite the temper, I'll tell you.

Quickly, I entered the hall and was greeted with the familiar grand table, almost as long as the ones at Hogwarts. And speak of the devil, my mother sat in the very center on the far side from the door.

Taking the seat across from her, I grabbed some chicken and mashed potatoes; enough to fill me up but at the same time keep my mother happy.

'How are you dear,' to most people this would be meant as a question, to my mother it was a demand.

'Good, Mum,' I responded shortly, not bothering to elaborate given the fact that she probably doesn't give a flying Bludger as to what I say.

'Did you practice your wandless magic?' she asked this time, probably ready to reprimand me for not being committed or something of the sort.

'Yes, Mum,' I replied daring her to get mad at me.

'And your Arithmancy?'

'Yes, Mum.'

'What about Transfiguration?'

_Damn. Well you got me there._

'No, Mum,' I replied as I hung my head, pretending to look ashamed. When really I could couldn't care less what she thought of me, but I've learned she shuts up sooner if I look like I'm taking her seriously.

'What have I told you…'

I know she's talking, and I'm sure I should be listening. But what can you expect from me? I know what she's saying anyways. It's the same thing every time. "You've disappointed me. If only you just took this seriously everything would be that much easier."

Yeah, whatever.

'You know,' my beloved mother continued, oblivious to how I had just tuned out everything she just said. 'You should really make friends with some people of your same status. Like that Potter boy,' I roll my eyes at this. She's been trying to set me up with James Potter since my birth. Of course I've never even spoken a single word to him.

Yep, it was doomed for failure. And plus the whole he's-obsessed-with-my-best-friend thing.

'Right, Mum,' I was trying to hurry this up; it's not my fault I have better things to do than this.

'Do you have everything packed for tomorrow?' she asked.

'Almost, just have a bit more to do,' I said as I stood from my chair. 'May I be excused to do that now?'

'Of course, dear,' she asked in forced sweetness. 'Good night.'

I nodded and ran from that room as fast as I could. But instead of going to my room, I went outside to suck up the remainder of the summer sun.

One more day and she'd be off to Hogwarts.

_One more day._

***

_Beep, Beep._

Damn alarm clock. Doesn't it know I want to sleep? What's it think is _so_ important that it must wake me up at this ungodly hour?

_Hogwarts, dumbarse,_ the voice inside my head said. Yeah it tends to call me names. It's kind of mean.

_Well, your face,_ was my witty reply. Hey, I was tired!

Once my inner argument was over, I shuffled through my room grabbing random pieces of clothing on my way, calling Blinky after. She appeared in front of me instantly and grabbed my trunk.

'I will take this down to the Floo Miss,' the little elf said. 'Then I'll come back for you.'

'Okay, thanks,' Blinky disappeared without a sound and only moments later appeared again. She grabbed a hold of my hand and we were gone. I only stumbled slightly on the landing, but once I straightened myself I found myself in front of the fireplace in my common room.

'Miss Berkeley,' Blinky said from beside me. 'Blinky got Miss some toast for breakfast,' she handed me two pieces of stacked toast. 'Miss has fifteen minutes before Mrs Berkeley would like Miss to leave.'

'Thank you, Blinky,' with that I plopped down on the couch in front of the fireplace and began eating my breakfast.

Once fifteen minutes passed, I grabbed a handful of Floo Powder from the ceramic bowl on the coffee table and, after yelling Kings Cross, stepped into the green flames with my trunk. I'd become quite skilled at flooing with something with me, like my trunk per se, and not hitting myself with said object.

I came out of the fireplace in the alley beside the station, and without even adjusting my clothes, carried on to the platform.

Finally, I reached the barrier between platforms nine and ten and took off at a run through the brick wall. The minute I came through the other side I was hit with the excitement of new and returning students. Parents were saying quick goodbyes to their children before ushering them onto the train, while muggleborns looked around in curiosity at the big red steam engine. Older students were talking to their friends in small groups and some helped younger ones heave their bags onto the train.

I lugged my trunk behind me as I weaved through the crowd until I found myself in front of the door to the train. Sending magic through my hand and into my trunk, I lightened it to make it easier to haul. I walked down the hall until I finally reached an empty compartment and dragged my trunk up onto the overhead shelf.

I'd only been there a few moments before the compartment door burst open and an over excited Shellie came in almost jumping in joy.

'Cady!' she squealed as she pounced and enveloped me into a hug.

Not particularly one for hugs, I patted her back awkwardly. But when she pulled away my smile was just as big as hers given the fact that we'd spent the last month apart. Out of all my friends, Shellie was the one I spent the most time with. Call me crazy, but her spunk really got me to be myself. We were completely different, but opposites attract right?

'Oh my god!' she squealed again. 'Your hair!'

I rolled my eyes at her reaction. Of course, I secretly loved it. I'd finally convinced my mom to let me cut my hair short. Now my hair reached just under my chin in perfect bright red waves. I'd also made sure that Evangeline had told me exactly how to keep it from going frizzy and bushy like it used to be when it was long.

'It's perfect!' I grinned winningly, knowing for sure that I'd be getting more of these kinds of reactions. Because honestly, it wasn't just my hair that looked different, my whole appearance was changed. I'd replaced my glasses with contacts and went shopping for a complete new wardrobe which included a new set of school robes that fit quite nicely. But the most shocking thing, I think, is the way my body had filled out over the summer. My thin frame from last year had now changed into curves and actual hips! I know! Who would've thunk it, me – Cady Berkeley – had hips! Hips!

Oh yeah, I'm a tad bit dramatic.

I know understatement of the century right?

Just as Shellie opened her mouth for another loud exclamation, the other two Gryffindor Girls entered the compartment both with identical grins.

'Cady! Shellie!' they exclaimed at the same time, only to stop and burst out laughing at their in syncedness (don't care if it's not a word) and buckling over onto the bench. Only a few seconds went before Shellie and I were also on the floor holding our sides in laughter.

It was about ten minutes before we all managed to gather our bearings – by that time the train was already moving - and plopped down in our normal seats. We always sat in the same spot on the train; Shellie was beside the window on the left side with Evangeline across from her, while I sat next to Shellie and Lily across from me.

'Oh, I almost forgot!' Shellie exclaimed, jumping from her seat and reaching to open her trunk. After several minutes of Shellie rummaging through her bag and the rest of us staring at her, she turned around, a camera in her hands.

'See I figured since it's our last year and all,' she turned the camera around and snapped a picture of herself, a cheesy smile plastered to her face. 'We should document the whole thing!'

'That's brilliant!' Eva jumped up from her seat and struck a pose; hand on hip and other thrusted into the air. 'Just get my good side!'

We spent the next hour passing the camera around and snapping ridiculous pictures of each other. After a dozen giggles and even the unveiling of Shellie's new tongue ring – which her muggle father knew nothing about – we finally fell back into our seats, exhausted.

'So Lily,' we all rolled our eyes knowing exactly what Eva was about to say. 'Thought any about Potter?' she waggled her eyebrows for effect.

'As if,' Lily snorted – charming I know. 'Like I'd ever date a prat like Potter.'

'You say that now,' Eva said as she leaned in like she had some deadly gossip. 'But you haven't seen how hot he's looking this year.'

I rolled my eyes; leave it to Eva to be thinking about the hottest guy only five minutes after the train pulled away from the station. 'He's not _that_ hot,' I say this while looking at Lily. I'd seen him over the summer since he was my neighbor, and yeah he was good looking, but nothing too special.

'Whatever,' Lily said. 'It's not like I'd base that sort of thing on his looks anyways. He'd have to be smart and mature…'

Us three groaned as Lily began her monologue on her perfect guy. I tried to contain my laughter as all three of us mouthed the words along with her; she seemed to be off in her own little world and was totally oblivious.

'And he'd have to have a suitable job,' she continued only to be cut off as the compartment door burst open to reveal a very frantic looking James Potter. He looked around and smiled at all of us before turning to Lily.

'Evans,' he started. 'We've got to debrief the prefects,' at Lily's confused look he added, 'I'm Head Boy.'

The compartment fell silent. Shock written on all our faces. No way could this be happening. I snapped out of it as I remembered something, I smirked at Eva.

'Hey Eva,' I called to her also snapping her out of her thoughts. 'You owe me a Galleon.'

She huffed and regretfully dug through her pockets and pulled out a shiny gold coin. I grinned at her before taking the piece of money and putting it into my own pocket. James gave us a weird look before turning back to Lily and waiting for her to break from her trance.

Knowing this might take a while, I jabbed my toe into her shin, successfully bringing her back. She looked around in shock, and then obviously remembering what was going on, stood up from her chair and adjusted her Head Girl badge.

'Okay,' she said to Potter. 'Let's go,' James exited, but before Lily left she turned to us and gave us an apologetic smile. 'I'll see you later.'

We smiled back, but once the door closed, busted out laughing.

Once our laughter died we sat in silence for only a few minutes before Shellie spoke up, 'Want to play some Exploding Snap?'

I smiled at my friends as we got out the cards.

Seventh year, here I come!


	2. Seven Years

_**Disclaimer- **__I sadly do not own anything of the magical world of Harry Potter. __Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling and Warner Bros. I in no way claim ownership of any rights to the Harry Potter Universe._ _That honor belongs to JK Rowling. Any quotes that I take from JKR will be in bold lettering._

_I also do not own the song _Seven Years_ by _Norah Jones.

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**CADY'S POV**

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Hmmm… What's the best thing about Hogwarts?

The food.

Right now I'm standing in the entrance of the Great Hall taking in the scene around me… okay I lied, taking in the _smells _around me. Bacon, eggs, French toast, waffles, hash browns, and pancakes. Mmmm, pancakes.

Yep, I'm craving pancakes.

'Hey Cady,' I nodded to Remus Lupin, the soul person outside of my group that actually knows my name. Continuing my way down the table I spotted my three friends and plopped down beside Lily.

'What's up?' I ask as I start filling my plate with pancakes and lathering them in maple syrup.

'Not much,' Lily answered. 'McGonagall's just started passing out the schedules now.'

I looked down the table and saw our Head of House making her way slowly down the benches. She was handing out pieces of parchment like every year and talking briefly with each student.

'It's going to be almost the same as last year, won't it?' Shellie asked, not looking up from egg sculpture that looked sort of like a lion if you tilted your head to the left. Huh.

'We'll have the same classes,' Lily said all-knowingly. 'But they'll be in a different order.'

We all nodded but didn't say anything more as McGonagall reached us.

'Girls,' she nodded to each of us, handing our timetables out at the same time. 'And Miss Berkeley, Headmaster Dumbledore would like to see you after your classes today.'

I nodded my acknowledgement and pondered the meeting with my Headmaster. It was most likely about my private lessons for this year, but it was what those lessons would hold that I was pondering. What else was there to learn? I've pretty much learned everything and more.

I was ripped from my thoughts when a hard jab connected with my side. 'What do you have first?' Lily asked.

I looked down at my schedule and sighed. 'Double Arithmancy,' I said. Honestly, I hated Arithmancy, the only reason I do it is because my mother would be oh _so_ disappointed if I didn't. 'You?' I asked as I turned towards her.

'Divination,' she said with a smile on her face. Seriously, that girl actually likes school. School! Yeah, I like learning new things and what not, but to actually look forward to class is absurd!

'We've got to go,' Evangeline exclaimed suddenly and I looked up to find the Hall practically empty. We each grabbed our bags and dashed out of the hall; racing off in different directions. When I reached my Arithmancy class I looked around the class, trying to find an empty desk. I smiled at Remus as I took the seat beside him and started pulling out my books.

'How much do you wanna bet that Natasha'll ask what the meaning of Arithmancy is?' Remus whispered to me. I laughed and shook my head before turning my attention to the professor standing at the front of the class. She started talking about ratios and their relevance when Natasha Felix's hand shot into the air.

'Yes Miss Felix?' the professor asked.

'What's the meaning of Arithmancy? I know you've answered me before, but I still don't get it…' I clamped my hand over my mouth trying to contain the laughter that threatened to spill out. I heard Remus chuckling beside me, both of us too preoccupied to pay any attention to the professor.

'Told you so,' he whispered into my ear.

Yep, this was going to be a great day.

~C~

This was the _worst_ day ever! Ever, I tell you! Not only did I end up having to do at least four feet of notes in Arithmancy, but right after lunch I had Potions where I spilt half the cauldron's contents all over myself. Oh, and to top it all off I had History of Magic after that.

Yeah, it's as boring as it sounds.

Though I did get a good hour of sleep there, so not all was lost.

Now I was making my way up to the Headmaster's office wiping the sleep from my eyes and trying to gather myself before the meeting. I was truly curious what the old man planned to teach me. Last year we mostly just fine tuned my wandless magic that I'd learned the year before and the year before _that_ was Apparation and Portkeyes, so then in third year I learned how to be an Animagus, second year was when I learned Patronuses and how to send messages with them, and finally in first year I just learned advanced work in most of my classes.

So what was left? I guess the sky is really the limit. Hmmm… the sky… Maybe I'll learn to fly? Nah, I can already do that with a broom. Plus I can Apparate, what would I need flying for?

My thoughts were cut short though, once I came across the stone gargoyle. Professor Dumbledore liked to challenge my wits by making me guess the password. It usually only took me two guesses since I knew his pattern.

'Spearmint Bonbons,' I said to the statue and it leaped aside immediately. I smirked at my success and stepped onto the rotating stairway. I didn't even bother knocking, nor was I shocked when my Headmaster's voice greeted me before I even reached the door.

'Ah, Miss Berkeley,' he said in his cool voice. 'I expect you had a good holiday?'

I smiled; the thing I loved about the old man was his need for small talk and walking around the conversation. He never went straight to the point, always turning his words into riddles to unravel. It made conversation quite fun, really.

'As good as it can get,' I replied smoothly as I sank down into the squishy chair before his desk. 'I got a summer job, actually. Down at the marina. It was good to get out of the house, you know?' Most students would probably be too frightened to speak with him like this, but I personally knew him too well to treat him any differently. He was my mentor. The granddad I never had, yet still this respectable man who understood me better than anyone else.

'Good, good,' he said his blue eyes twinkling like they always did. 'Am I safe to assume you are wondering why you are here?'

'You are,' I replied my curiosity probably clear on my face, content to finally getting to the point of the meeting.

'Well,' he began leaning slightly forward. 'You've learned quite a lot these past years, Cady. But there are still a few things I wish to teach you,' I raised one eyebrow. 'You see, Cady, many believe that fighting involves only physical strength, but on the contrary, it involves much more,' I leaned further in my seat in attention, wondering where he was going with this.

'There is one power that Voldemort,' I did not gasp like most people would at the name, in fact I say it myself, 'does not possess. This power is the most important of all. It cannot be taught, only strengthened. I cannot be created, only found. This power is _love_.

'I know for a fact,' he continued, ignoring my baffled expression. 'That you, Cady, have this power. But my plan for this year is to strengthen it. Help you understand the full extent of it,' he looked me right in the eyes, his own still twinkling, but not the same way they usually did. This time they held true determination and something I couldn't quite place.

'Part of this process involves dealing with your past,' his gazed stayed on mine. 'Which involves learning Occlumency.'

I perked up instantly and looked at him in awe. 'Really?'

I knew how hard Occlumency was and, honestly, I knew I could ace it in no time.

'Yes,' he continued. 'Part of learning Occlumency is sorting through memories and organizing them in your mind, like files. Which makes this an easy way for us to look back on our pasts,' his eyes grew a bit sterner. 'I will also be teaching you Legilimency,' he put up his hand to cut me off before I could continue on in my outburst that was dying to present itself. 'I expect that I will not regret this decision,' I nodded fervently.

'Very well,' he said excusing me. 'Your lessons will start next Saturday at eight o'clock in the morning,' I nodded in acknowledgement. 'You are excused.'

I smiled at my Headmaster before exiting the room and heading up to Gryffindor Tower, thoughts still swirling around. Was I really going to learn Occlumency? I hadn't even _thought_ about the possibility of _maybe_ learning it, let alone thinking about all the responsibility this would bring! What if I wasn't patient enough? That had always been my downfall in classes. I just didn't have the determination or drive to pursue anything long term. I just wasn't worth it in my eyes.

I yawned sleepily as the day caught up with me, cutting off my worries. Dinner was probably still on but I really just wanted to go up to my room and write. It was the perfect time really.

So I trudged my way through the common room and up the girls' staircase and into the seventh year's dorm. Once inside I grabbed my guitar from beside my bed and plopped down cross-legged onto my bed. I pulled my shrunken notebook from my pocket and expanded it with a touch of my finger, digging through my back pocket for my quill at the same time.

A few moments later I had my notebook next to me lying open with my quill next to it. I lifted the guitar in my calloused fingers and strummed a lazy C. Then a D, then an E. Slowly the rhythm caught and I was playing a soft intro. I faded the guitar part and sucked in a breath, preparing myself for the words that were ready to spill from my lips.

'_Spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song  
A little girl with nothing wrong  
Is all alone_'

I sighed dreamily as the words continued to form effortlessly, like they were there all the time just waiting to come. My fingers grazed the last cord, echoing in the small room sending me into my mellow state. I was always calm after playing; it's just how it worked. It was like my drug and right now I was on the high. The mind fuzzing, eyes glazing, head spinning high.

And damn it felt good.

~C~

'What about Chris?' Eva asked that night as she munched on some chips Shellie had nicked from the kitchens. Let's just say we had fallen out of the house elves good graces when Shellie decided to make a statue of Merlin out of our dirty clothes.

…

Yep, they weren't too thrilled.

'But he _reeks_,' Lily put in as she flipped through a book her mother had sent her. The girl was obsessed with books almost as much as Potter was obsessed with her. It was unhealthy, really.

'And his hair isn't symmetrical,' Shellie called out from her spot on the floor where she was currently sketching what looked like an interpretation of the Bloody Baron. We all turned to stare at her momentarily for her odd comment, but dropped it quickly. This was _Shellie_ after all. You really couldn't expect anything that came out of her mouth. Or her quill for that matter.

'Well, then…' Eva flipped onto her stomach as she continued to paint her fingers a disturbing color of pink. 'What about Nate, then? He's rather cute.'

I sighed as I watched the conversation. This happened every time Eva was looking for a new playmate. We'd have to stay awake till dawn, just listing off the different guys she could possibly start after. Many would call her a slag, or a flirt, but really she was quite entertaining. She had Veela blood in her somewhere, and had claimed she couldn't help if the boys fell at her feet. She didn't have any control over the matter. Or so she said.

'Why don't you just go a week _without_ a bloke?' I realized my mistake just after the words had already left my mouth as all eyes turned to me and jaws fell to the floor. Almost just as quickly, Shellie's and Lily's gazes snapped to their blond friend, as if they were watching a wrestling match that was just getting good.

'Are you _mad_?' her blue eyes were looking at me as if I'd just sprouted antlers and was dancing the Macarena. 'Go without a bloke? What would you suppose I do? _Study_?'

I tried desperately not to laugh at her last comment. It was just so _Eva_. She was literally repulsed by the idea of actually doing work or spending anytime on academics. Her life plan was to get out of Hogwarts and into a plane to America where she'd take classes at the best Art school available and become the next Meryl Strike or something. The gist of it all was that she was an aspiring actress, and wanted nothing more to get out of the castle as fast as possible.

'Right, sorry I even said anything,' I rolled my eyes as Eva huffed and continued on her painting. She truly was cut out for acting though. She was the drama queen of the century and loved nothing more than to pose in front of the nearest camera.

Just as that thought struck, I spotted Shellie's camera poking out of her trunk. I grinned a mischievous smile as I crawled off my bed where I'd been jotting down various notes in my notebook, and made towards the messy trunk. Being me and all, no one noticed as I took out the contraption and aimed it at my friends. The camera flashed as I clicked it at Eva, startling her out of what she was doing.

'Oh you're brilliant Cady!' she squealed as she pouted her lip out in a model pose, Lily putting down her book and Shellie abandoning her sketch as they both joined their friend on her bed. Shellie lifted two fingers in a peace sign over her mouth as Lily and Eva swung their arms around each other. Lily was smiling her innocent smile while Eva was giving her best "sexy" look.

'Hand it here!' Shellie called as the picture had been taken and I joined the group with my own goofy pose. It was awkward and clumsy, but it didn't matter when I was with my friends. We could be all wearing fuzzy boxers that had Dumbledore's face all over them, and we wouldn't give another thought to it. We were having the time of our lives, and to us that was the only thing that mattered.

'And one more thing to pull the night together,' Eva winked at us all before diving down over her own trunk, rummaging around for several moments. Once she'd come back up we all giggled and squealed at the sight of the Firewhiskey bottle.

Pull the night together indeed.

~C~

I was floating on what seemed like a very high cloud. A very, _very_ high cloud. And it wasn't fun. My head felt light and dizzy, not really like it was actually there. Birds flew by, chirping the most annoying song I'd heard in I don't know how long. I swatted at a particular irritating pigeon that was sounding more like a broken buzzer than an actual bird. I was just about to take another swing when I heard an awfully familiar voice.

'Turn the bloody alarm off Cady!' groaned Lily's croaky voice as a pillow hit me hard in the head. I grumbled as the full impact of the major headache I was currently going through came to full effect. Rolling over I hit the top of my alarm clock and checked the time.

_5:00_.

_No bloody way,_ my inner voice grumbled at me as I remembered my daily run I had to go on. Every morning – weekend or school day – I'd wake up at this unnatural hour just to go out into the grounds to run around the lake.

Today however, my body wasn't having any of it and actually plain out refused to let me get up and out of bed. So moaning into my pillow, I tried desperately to get some much needed shut eye.

I'd been trying for what felt like hours now to get to sleep, but still my mind wouldn't go to rest. It was like my body just wanted to sleep, but my mind wanted nothing but to defy that wish and stay awake.

I _really_ need to sort out my inner self.

I groaned once more as I flipped onto my stomach, sending a surge of pain up to my head. Apparently the Firewhiskey – though a great idea at the time –had been a bit of a stupid move. Fighting the pain, I managed to push myself towards the alarm clock to check the time, only to groan at the numbers.

_5:12._

Sighing, I flipped the covers off of myself and got up off my bed. Obviously my mind just wouldn't settle down, so I was forced to go spend the next two hours – okay, what am I kidding? – _seven_ hours somewhere else.

Slipping on my fuzzy slippers, I trudged down the stairs in my flannel pajamas down to the common room.

And no, Sirius Black was not sitting by the fire waiting for me so we could have the most in depth conversation about his screwed up family life. Nope, reality kicked in and I was completely alone in the dark common room, the fire flickering in the moon light.

So, with only my thoughts to entertain me, I sank into the best chair right next to the fire and let my mind roam to better places. And when I say better places, I mean song lyrics. Yep, that's what I do for fun. I write.

And sing…

But no laughing!

* * *

_**AN- **__First off, I give a cookie to however can get Dumbledore's pattern. And this chapter at first was going to be completely different, but I decided that it was moving too fast for my liking, so I changed it. I hope you guys got a sense of what the Shimmer Girls are like, and I promise a bit of Marauder action in the next chapter. It is a Sirius/OC after all._

_Oh and I'm not obsessed with Norah Jones, it's just what I pictured Cady's voice as. I'll probably change it up in a bit._


	3. Chasing Pirates

**CADY'S POV**

* * *

_Secrets._

_Known by only a few people and intentionally withheld from general knowledge._

Secrets hold our structure together, weave a complicated pattern that serves as the safety net for society.

Deep I know, but I just finished reading _Jane Austen_, shoot me.

Really, it should be illegal to be so deep and thoughtful. It could only lead to my demise. And all those around me. Maybe even a couple Slytherins who might have pissed me off in the past… Yes, that sounds right about perfect…

"_Cady_," I whipped my head around and almost smashed right into the _way_ too close face of Remus Lupin. As I was almost certain I could pick out every single one of his freckles. _Weird_. "What _are_ you doing?"

"Hmm?" I managed, frowning in confusion. I only had to glance once at my wet parchment to know what he meant.

I'd been _drooling_.

…

Yep, shoot me now.

"Ugh," I grimaced – in what I was certain was an oh-so gorgeous fashion – and flicked my wand at it. Even in the face of embarrassment – _complete_ and _utter_ embarrassment I might add – I still wasn't about to give away my wandless abilities. It was definitely a conversation that needed more explanation than could be had in History of Magic.

"Yeah, exactly what I was thinking," turning my sexy – or not so sexy – glare at the boy, wishing I could simply hex the Gryffindor and his idioticness (yes, that is now a word). It would only take a second, even just a flick of my hand would give me enough time to give him a serious case of the hives. Non-verbally of course. And if anyone were to witness my little display, it would surely only take a few moments for me to completely Obliviate every student in the classroom… Really, probably only under thirty seconds really, even less if I was really on the ball... I could even plant a couple interesting stories in their heads for good measure, you know, to cover my bases and everything. And it's not like old Dumbly could get mad or anything, only proud. After all, that would be rather impressive. Even for me…

"Did you hear anything I just said?" I coughed discretely into my hand as I averted my eyes, pretending to be studying the black board. This tactic however, would have been much more successful had there actually been something _written_ on the board. But regretfully, the world and Merlin seemed to be against me. For reasons I'm sure I'll never understand…

"Yes, of course," was my simple answer. Surely he didn't expect a straight answer. A lie was a given.

"Right, and what was I saying?" typical Remus, trying to outsmart the smartest witch of our age. Foolish really, as he'd only get himself caught. Sure, I hadn't heard a single thing he'd just uttered, but I had other tricks up my cloak sleeve.

"That I should really be paying attention to when the professor speaks, as you are almost positive that Goblin wars would be on the final exam," I took this moment to now look up at him, that complete blank 'dare me' look I'd perfected so well over the years. Men were useless against it. "Oh, and that I should at least take the time for a nap like a normal human being instead of simply daydreaming, much more productive."

The next moment was not one I was unfamiliar with. I'd seen this exact expression on many before, not reserved for the boy in front of me. Though this particular bloke had held that expression many times before, it was hardly his fault. With a little help from my advanced Charms work and mild Legilimency, it was hardly strenuous to discover what he'd said.

After all, I'd learned from the master of deception and trickery.

"Oh, alright then," he paused a moment to glance down at his notes, almost as if planning his next attack. Which I suppose could be very possible, as he was obviously the brains behind the whole 'Marauder' extravaganza. It wasn't like Potter, Black or Pettigrew could do any good. "Then I suppose you also heard me mention the test we have next class."

"I was sure you said quiz," I shot back without missing a beat, this time no trickery involved. At this point, I was simply blowing smoke, and praying on Merlin's moss covered grave that he didn't call me out. I could only hope the Sorting Hat had the right intentions putting the boy in Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw, as that was really my only hope.

"Oh, alright then," he repeated, his voice getting more dejected. I felt sorry for the bloke, as it was hardly his fault that he'd picked the wrong fight. It was like challenging James Potter to a non-verbal duel, nothing good could come out of it. You were doomed to failure, no matter which clever plan you thought of to succeed.

So with this settled, we moved into an amicable silence, working respectively. History of Magic was surely not the most interesting subject, but it was a hell of a lot better than talking to this Neanderthal on my right.

~C~

My hand was _aching_. I swear to whatever god the wizarding world prays on that I'd never experienced such pain. _Three bloody inches_. Three inches! It was insanity! Complete lunacy! Madness I tell you!

…

And yes, thesauruses are very helpful.

But that is _hardly_ the point. I just spent the complete last block writing. _Nonstop_. My fingers will bloody fall off if I'm to write another word! I couldn't even fathom lifting my poor bruised limb without harming several of my precious brain cells. Or possibly my magical structure… Yes, that's sounds right. If I write just _one_ more word, I'll simply lose all my powers. _Poof_, there goes the wizarding world. No savior for _you_. You can go ahead and blame Professor Walrus, or rather Professor Slughorn, the almighty host of the 'Slug Club'.

Bloody arsehole.

There was surely no real reason for the man's talent. Why would anyone possibly waste such genius on a man like him? He was simply an old round wizard, hoping to scrap up a few of the better things in life before he keels over. Those better things in life being crystallized pineapple and gift baskets from Gwenog Jones.

Yes, the man was definitely full of himself… And many various Honeydukes products.

But nonetheless, he was a professor, therefore permitted to give out lengthy essays that took far too long for far too pointless subjects. Really, who gave a flying Bludger about the density of a rat's tail? Or the viscosity of liquid luck? No one, that's _who_… Unless that no one had either greasy black hair and last name sounded like a reptile or fiery red head and had gone to calling a certain Potter an 'insufferable toe rag', that is.

"Oh, stop complaining," Shellie groaned out as she too rubbed her wrists, for some reason reading my mind… Or maybe simply actually _listening_ to my grumbled complaints… Yes, that was fairly possible.

"Oh, shove it, you know it hurts," I winced as I touched a soft spot on my forearm, wondering how writing could possibly physically scar me. "Now what do we have next?"

"Free," I nodded silently as we continued our way down the hall, both of us drained of life and cheer… Or rather just any excitement or joy we might have had that morning, only to be replaced of course with sheer boredom and extreme wrist pains.

"You off to the Come 'n Go?" she nodded and smiled sheepishly, knowing how she was _once again_ ditching me. There was a point we'd been given all the same classes that year, and it was not meant for her to skive on me and go on her little 'artistic adventures'. Really, I would hope that I was much more interesting…

Though really, I wouldn't want to hang out with me either.

"Well I suppose I'll go bug Lupin," I said, sighing deeply in an attempt at guilt. However, her mind had already seemed to have wandered and I deemed the whole thing a failure. If she wasn't even going to pay attention to little old me, there was hardly anything I could do. "Or maybe Pettigrew, he's always a laugh."

And that I did. As I entered the common room, having split off with Shellie at the third floor, I was grateful – for lack of a better word – to find all four marauders lounging around the fireplace. You'd think they didn't have any studying to do, as if they weren't about to be taking the hardest tests of their lives at the end of term… No instead, they were simply taking time to 'hang out', or whatever you'd like to call this pathetic display of comradery.

"'Ello boys," I chirped as I plopped into the empty seat next to Potter, grinning at them all. I wasn't particularly close to any of them, minus Lupin. We sat next to each other in practically every class after all, as most every teacher thought it a good idea. Apparently Lupin was meant to 'whip me in shape'….

Dumbledore hadn't exactly gotten around to telling them that I'm a bloody genius. Shame, really.

"Berkeley," Black and Potter greeted in perfect unison, Pettigrew's squeak of a greeting coming three seconds too late. "What a pleasure," this was Black who finished it, grimacing in a way that _still _looked quite attractive on the bloke. Unfair to all the other males on the planet, honestly.

"Likewise," for some reason, this was what most of my interactions with the pureblood gone bad were. We were ever so civil, never a comment out of place. The only expression of our mutual semi-dislike for each other shown on our faces. A grimace there, a glance here. Nothing substantial, really.

"You need help with Muggle Studies?" I turned to Remus as he asked this, shaking my head.

"Nah, just bored," I responded, twirling my wand lazily in my fingers. Ignoring Pettigrew's slightly creepy gaze, I looked up at the ceiling lazily. "Shellie's off somewhere."

"Taylor?" I nodded at Potter's exclaimed question as to who the mysterious 'Shellie' was. He most certainly knew who she was, as she was rather hard to miss. I could understand fully if they hadn't a clue who _I_ was, but are families were all pureblood and it was practically required of us. Most definitely Potter, as we were both 'blood traitors' as they said. But my dear Shellie was not a wallflower like myself. No she was most definitely the annoying flashing neon sign, glaring at you through the pitch black avenue. That was her, screeching and flickering, one of the letter's hanging on a weak wire, threatening to crush anyone who dare walk beneath it.

"What's she doing?" I shrugged, only slightly aware of the looks all three boys shot at Lupin, his eyes glued somewhere above my shoulder.

"Dunno, probably that stuff she calls 'art'," I was a little bewildered as I watched each of them frown in confusion, as if trying to solve a difficult problem.

It was Potter who finally broke the silence.

"So she's not very good then?" it took me several moments to get what he meant, and once I did, I gasped in surprise shaking both my hands and head.

"Oh no, that's not what I meant," I hurried through, not wanting them to go spreading this around. "She's fabulous I'm sure, but I'm just not the artsy type," I looked at each of them and didn't continue until I saw all their nods. "Never have and never will get art or any form of art… Well I mean _visual_ arts, I get music," I was definitely the first time I'd found myself so flustered and babbling like I was, and I wasn't particularly pleased with the idea. Never had I ever felt so hurried and uncollected, and by the expressions of the boys in front of me, they'd never once witnessed it either.

"Oh," was all that escaped them, all nervously glancing at each other as if I was about to mentally combust. Great, now I've succeeded in convincing the _Marauders_ of all people that I'm completely insane.

Cady: 0; Mental Instability: 1

~C~

It was practically inevitable that the rest of my week would be of a similar fashion. MI was gaining on me fast and it was slightly frightening. I swear I've never seen a score board so off balance before. It was like its 40 could eat my 1.

Yep, that's right, I got _one_.

It was on one not so fine day in Herbology that the miracle came upon me in the form of a particularly ill Sirius Black. Apparently in their excitement to pot the Poison Snapper, they'd refrained from putting on the goggles. Potter had been lucky to have had amazing Quidditch reflexes and had dodged the poison needles with ease. Black was not so lucky.

But before Professor Sprout could get herself in a mess, I flicked my wrist ever so discretely in the boy's direction. His cheeks instantly regained color and the boils that were beginning to form on his forehead vanished without anyone the wiser. If it wasn't for the fact that I was currently competing against my insanity, I might have left him as he was just for the laugh. I can only imagine what the droolers would do if they found their handsome Sirius Black covered in boils…

A laugh indeed.

"Stop daydreaming," I stuck my tongue out at the annoying being that was Lily, barely having enough wits left from my magnificent display of awesomeness in Herbology to come up with a witty reply.

"As if you can talk," snorted Eva from across the room, her eyes glued to her nails. If you could get nail polish overdose, Eva was definitely in danger. If for every bottle of nail polish she used I got a penny, I'd be doubly as rich I swear. She just never stops! It's like she buys the stuff in bulk from some creepy man in an alley, all of it off the black market or something… I truly and honestly, would not be surprised.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily's voice was accusatory and her green eyes narrowed into dangerous slits, my cue to back away slowly. There was only one thing that came out of an angry Evans, and it usually involved someone being severely injured.

"Now Lils, I'm sure she didn't mean it that way," I began softly, holding out my hands as I discretely backed up onto my own bed. But it was too late, she'd already whipped out her wand, her hair seeming to _glow_ in rage.

"_Furnunculus!"_ rang through the room in Lily's high pitched voice, making both me and Shellie cringe in fear. We knew all too well what was to come next, as we'd seen it happen time and time again. And even a few of the times, we'd been on the receiving end.

We watched in silent horror as boils and pimples spread across Eva's normally immaculate face, her eyes clamped shut in what I was sure was fear. It wasn't just me and Shellie who'd been under the influence of one of Lily's many hexes, and Eva most likely knew it better than either of us. The red head apparently didn't quite get the 'friendly' part of friendly teasing, and managed to blow her top at Evangeline more than once a week… It was frightening really.

"Oh no! Oh _no_!" I cringed once more at the even _higher_ pitch Eva's voice seemed to gain, and I wondered if they'd all had a helium party while I was gone. "Oh no, no, no…" the rest of us simply rolled our eyes as we deemed the situation not worthy of our concern, knowing the blond would manage on her own. She was most likely the most over reactive witch in the whole bloody school, as she was known to claim certain death at the sight of an empty shampoo bottle. "I was going to meet Eric tonight! I can't go out like _this_," at these last words, I completely tuned her out and made my way back to my bed, ready for another night in the dorms.

I hummed softly as I pulled out the first thing I could reach in my trunk. I happened to pull out my old History of Magic book from way back in fifth year and gave in to my sheer boredom. It was better than nothing, at least.

So setting myself up crossed legged in the middle of my bed, I continued my humming and started my reading. The words on the page started to morph into lyrics in my head, looping into the melody and forming strong backups and smooth harmonies. Soon enough I was through a bridge and had a solid chorus, all forming a song I never knew I had in me. "_And I, don't know how, to slow it down,"_ I muttered softly to myself, knowing my dorm mates wouldn't mind as they were all too used to it. _"My mind's racing from chasing pirates."_ I continued my gentle humming as I ignored the still ranting Eva. It was just another day in the Gryffindor girl's dormitory; I hadn't really expected anything different…

* * *

_**AN-**__ I apologize profusely for the long wait and short chapter. I spent all of November writing a novel, so it's been a bit hectic lately. Also, I was feeling a bit down in the dumps with the lack of interest in Shimmer, so it all added up to a very long time. I give you all cookies for the horrible job of updating I've been doing._

_Also, I do not own _Chasing Pirates_ by_ Norah Jones.


	4. Little White Lies

**LILY'S POV**

* * *

At that time I was not going to tell her.

It was hardly up to me to let her know. I'd been asked several times whether I was deaf or simply a coward. I am neither I assure you. I also am not a liar, not even close.

But alas, there comes a time where even the most perfect of people must divulge in a little deception. I am no exception to this rule. I have told many white lies, as I'm sure every single witch or wizard has. After all, each of us carries a grand lie, as masquerade flawlessly conceived to fool all Muggles. And it's no fault of ours. Even Muggles themselves do it.

Have you ever heard of Santa Claus? I'm sure you have. It's probably the second biggest lie to ever been told, next - of course - to the presence of magic. Every single mother and father around the world has played into the scheme. Though I don't know the exact statistics, I'd guess that there are very few who have told the truth in this area.

There are many reasons to this.

Imagine if you told your ten year old boy that Santa Claus did not exist, would he not go and tell all his friends? It would only make sense to a young boy. So of course, you as a parent owe it to all the _other_ kids not to tell _your_ kids, as I'm sure you might have an angry mob of overprotective mothers on your back side.

This means my reasons for lying to Cady are just as commendable.

All three of us have discussed the matter thoroughly, I promise. We've even had our share arguments over it all. But really, in the end, it's just like the moment your mother asks if she looks fat in her new gown. You answer, of course, with a 'no, you look fine' because you want to receive a good birthday present that year and a healthy allowance. But it's still a lie, even if only a small one.

So in hindsight, I have perfectly justified reasons for telling her she can sing.

I'm only too aware of the fact that if I did tell her she sang like an old lady with a very large and prickly Quaffle down her throat, she'd only be severely crushed. I came to this conclusion as I saw the light light up on her face as she scribbled on her notepad, completely differing from her usual solemn obliviousness. But alas, all the words she came up with, and the tune she thought up in her head, would only sound highly disturbing and excruciating to the ear if she were the one to sing them. It's a sad truth, and an even sadder lie to tell.

Shellie was the first to warn us of this. You see, we weren't always friends. From first through second year, Eva and I had no particular like for the two girls. They were odd, Cady quiet and Shellie eccentric. We were, of course, the epitome of cool being two of the prettiest girls in the castle. We had friends in almost every other house, and admirers in all of them. We were living the life of the elites, the one girls like Cady and Shellie only dreamed of.

It was in January of our third year when we first heard Cady 'sing'. Though we didn't know it at the time, this was the very stepping stone to a grand friendship.

We were sitting on our beds when it happened.

"And then he said that he couldn't _possibly_ spend another minute with me," it was Eva's much younger self who said this, and as usual, she sat cross legged on her four poster with an arrangement of nail polishes displayed in front of her. "Can you believe that? He couldn't spend another minute _snogging_! Snogging _me_!" even at the ripe age of thirteen, Eva was the thrill of the school, or at least the male population. "You don't think he's daft, do you?"

"Most definitely," or at least that's what I think happened. This was usually how most of our conversations went though. I was usually sitting on my own four-poster, spread out and reading my latest romance novel. I'd taken a liking to them back at home during one of my many summers in Surrey. I had nicked one of my mother's books from her massive shelf as I was bored and restless. Petunia had been refusing to play with me, and I could only think of one way to cure my boredom.

And from then on, I was hooked.

"I really do have a knack for picking them, don't I?" her voice was most likely laden with sarcasm and dread as she said this, while simultaneously layering on the black nail polish. Always the one for dramatics.

"That you do," this part, I remember quite nicely, however. The words had been stolen from my very lips by our very own black haired Shellie, muttered as if to the perfume soiled air. I clearly recall Eva's neck cracking up so fast it made a distinct whip noise and I was worried she'd possibly gotten whiplash. And as her perfectly pink glossed lips opened to release what I was sure would be a terrifying scream, the sound of grinds against copper rang through the dormitory.

That is a very nice way of putting the dreadful sounds that came out of that young girl's mouth. I'd say it is more of a mixture between a broken airplane engine and one of those completely wooden carts they used once in the country. I've always wondered what it sounds like to her, in her head I mean. By her facial expressions, I don't think she hears what we do.

"What in Merlin's saggy Y-fronts is _that_?" Eva had shrieked, hands covering her ears and looking at Shellie with wild eyes. I remember being exceedingly pleased that Cady was in the shower and that there was almost no chance she could hear any of us. Or so I hoped.

"Shhh," Shellie had practically read my mind as she looked back in forth – as if it was only moments before Grindewald himself popped up from the shadows – and rushed to our beds. She looked weary and solemn as her eyes pleaded mercy. "You mustn't tell a soul," this was the point where both me and Eva looked at each other in fear, wondering what type of monstrosity this girl could possibly be hiding in our bathroom. "_Promise_ me."

"We promise," it seemed scarily like a horror film, as both Eva and I looked like we were about to come face to face with a mass murderer.

"That's Cady," it was only natural to frown, but the short girl silenced us both with a finger to her lips. "And no, she isn't being attacked," our frowns faded a bit. "Nor is she some half-werewolf, half-vampire," Eva's frown was completely washed off her face and I felt the sudden need to giggle childishly. "That's Cady… _singing_."

And the rest, as you would say, is history.

It's been four years since third year and we are now going into our final year at Hogwarts. If we could, we would get the award for best white lie ever told. I say it's a white lie because we've never actually told Cady she was a _good_ singer. No, we've simply never told her she was a _horrid_ singer. But over the years, we'd come very good at leaving the room discretely when she begins her humming, or making up some excuse when she pulls out her guitar.

But I can't take all the credit. We were infinitely lucky that Cady had always been a rather contained personality. She was never one to brag about her 'musical abilities' or even dare to hum a tune in public.

Luck had definitely been on our side.

I only bring this up, as I'm listening to her right now. She does this quite often, randomly starts humming or muttering lyrics. It's become routine though, and I flawlessly close my textbook, making as little noise as possible. I slide off my four-poster without even making enough disturbance to make her aware of my presence. I then exit the dormitory, gesturing up to the door as I pass Eva on the way down. She looks a bit crest fallen – most likely do to what I'm sure would have been a rather vigorous nail polish session – but nonetheless follows me back down the stairs and into the common room.

"Evans!" and that one word, just ruined my day. Really, Hogwarts should start up an awards ceremony as Potter would definitely win every single one in the 'prat' category.

"What Potter, _what_?" I was only slightly ashamed of how rude I was, as my mother and father would most surely be disappointed in me. "What pre tell, is so important that you must act like a fool infront of the entire common room? Uncomfortable itch, I presume?" I could not, however, deny how much selfish pleasure I got from just the pained look that crossed the boy's face. He would get over it, in less than five seconds surely. He'd be right back on his high horse soon, back to making 'witty' remarks in a desperate attempt to impress me.

And almost right on time, a grin spread across his face.

"It is if you're playing doctor," I simply rolled my eyes and swept past him, not giving a care if all he and his friends were exchanging exuberant high fives at this very moment.

I joined the other two at our usual common room table, Shellie staring at a piece of parchment with a quizzical expression on her face and Eva leaning on the back two legs of her chair and winking somewhere over my shoulder.

"You should give him a chance," I feel as though it's almost pointless to state it, but it was Shellie who brought it up. Eva of course, was much too busy snogging the bloke across the room with her eyes. "He does try."

"I know very well that he _tries_," I couldn't help but defend myself as I felt like it was a direct attack at me, whether intentional or not. "It's that he's so bloody annoying in his attempt that puts me off so much… He's a right git is what he is," the only confirmation I got was a low grunt from the black haired girl as she continued her uninterrupted stare at the seemingly important sheet of parchment. I huffed in annoyance, trying to make my discontent apparent.

I find it a bit frustrating at times, trying to string honest conversation with these girls. It's not that they're unintelligent, simply that we are all too different to really understand one another. Eva loves to talk about boys, next to of course her favorite subject, herself. Shellie was always babbling off about something, usually to do with her latest 'masterpiece' or something oddly mysterious. She was also known to stray off topic and almost never finished a conversation she'd started. And Cady didn't speak much at all. And even when she did, you usually had little clue how to respond. Everything was in riddles, secret messages that you were sure you needed to know in order to even _consider_ understanding it at all.

That's not to say we didn't have our good times, no we had several of them. There were times where I couldn't imagine not having friends like them, as it seemed rather like it wouldn't be complete. But needless to say, there were times. Friendship isn't perfect, and even the smartest of minds could admit that.

I suppose, though, that it's rather selfish of me to think this way. They are good to me; never hurt me in all our times as friends. But there's a certain give and take aspect that I find I'm missing. I give them so much; do their homework, comfort them, gossip with them. And yet, I've found myself more than once at the but of their jokes.

I'd like to say I have a sense of humor, but I'd be lying.

And as I've said, I am not a liar.

Since I can remember I've always had a certain spot of annoyance for small jokes. Maybe I'm simply insecure, or maybe it's that I'm highly evolved. Either way, I've never been fond of 'friendly teasing'. It hurts, no matter how innocent it may be. A small sarcastic remark that 'yes Lily, you look dreadful in that jumper' always seemed to pick at that last nerve of mine. Even I knew that it was highly unreasonable to take any offense to these, but still I did. It was like my mind just didn't want to listen to me. I'd tried many times to get the jokes, to _really_ laugh, but all my head wanted to do was put on a smile and nod.

It worked, but it always played on my conscience.

As a girl of many morals, my conscience does like to make its appearance. Usually on quite juvenile things such as this. It's very rare for me to think hard on my own actions, but the actions of others, seem to be the best seller in my theatre. Even those simple jokes will play around in my head for weeks, _months_. The worst - I would say - are not the jokes however.

It's the embarrassment.

For some unknown reason, I am not ordinary. It's not _my_ embarrassment that eats at me, no, it's everyone else's. For example, when I read a book about a young girl going through secondary education, only to fall madly in love with the school's most wanted bloke, then proceeds to humiliate herself in every way possible; falling at his feet, spilling her soda on his lap in the dining hall. These moments I always find myself mortified. I'm always sitting there trying not to shut out 'why'd you do it?' over and over at the poor innocent novel. This happens most frequently in the halls of Hogwarts as well, though it is almost always some poor first year. The moment where his trousers fall to his ankles or when he suddenly is wearing a wig I always feel the need to burst into tears for them.

Yes, I'm almost certain I need to see Madame Pomfrey for it.

I'm not quite sure if it's the irrational fear of my own embarrassment, or simply that I'm quite bonkers, but it's always been like this. Even when I'm the one on the other end, hexing Potter's 'gorgeous' face to sprout boils, I feel horrendously bad for the boy. And it's not pity, I'd like to clarify. Not in this - or any other universe - shall I ever feel pity for one James Potter, but rather I feel as if I'm in his shoes.

It's not as if I've never been embarrassed myself either, I've had my turn several times actually. But for some reason, when it's me standing there, I have a much cooler head. This might be the reason why I'm often dubbed the 'Snow Queen' by many of our Slytherin friends plus Sirius Black. And I don't argue their judgment either, I'm sure that's exactly how I seem. But I'm not heartless, not like they suggest.

My odd tendencies confirm that fact.

"You know, Astor McLaggen is quite charming," the comment was posed in an almost question as Eva store at the boy in question, a look of sheer curiosity stretched across her features. She looked almost like she was an eager philosopher, examining an old object of history that'd be lost for thousands of years.

"I suppose," there was a certain time where you gained a routine in your responses to 'Eva moments' as we called them. It was only too easy to nod and agree to whatever she was saying, as most every time she was simply looking for someone to approve of whatever scheme she'd hatched up for the next victim that morning.

"So you think I should ask him out?" at this I tore my eyes away from the engravings on the table top and looked up at the blonde, wondering what had gotten into her. This was a severely different Evangeline than I'd come to know, and frankly, I was a bit worried.

"Since when do _you_ ask a bloke out?" her blue eyes turned to me and a slight hint of a smirk pulled at the corners of her lips.

She was mocking me.

"Good, you were listening," she barely flinched at the glare I sent her, putting all my hatred to the world and Potter into that stare. She knew, much too well, which buttons and strings would throw me off the edge, and she seemed to just _love_ taking chances. "Now, do you think I should take him up?"

"Take him up as your snogging partner you mean?" the manner in which she spoke of the boys of Hogwarts even managed to amaze me at some times. No matter all the words I'd wasted trying to defend her honor, claiming she wasn't the person the rumors said she was, she went and proved me wrong. Sometimes I wondered what she said of me when I wasn't around.

"Yes, what else would I mean?" her eyes flicked back over my shoulders, and she swiped her tongue over her perfectly white teeth. If I knew her well enough, I would guess that she'd spent many hours in front of the mirror perfecting such a performance, as it was all part of her grand appeal.

"No, I don't think so," I'd turned to look at him at this point, examining him almost identically to the way she'd done only moments before. "He doesn't seem your type."

"And what type is _that_?" her eyes were accusatory as she looked at me after a moment's pause, and I tore my eyes away from our subject to roll my eyes dramatically at her. Sometimes she could be as daft as Lucius Malfoy the Slytherin Prince… Well truthfully, it was more than sometimes.

"He's got _morals_," I responded. I knew perfectly well that she'd take it the way she was meant to: as an insult.

Her jaw dropped and she looked almost as if she'd just been slapped across the face by McGonagall herself, her eyes wide in astonishment. "I'm perfectly adequate enough to snog a bloke with _morals_, thank you very much," I bit down the laugh that made its way to surface. "And he'd be only thrilled to know I even _looked_ at him, let alone spared him a thought." Typical Eva and her perspective on who she was, no matter how tilted it may be.

"Well, then go for it," this I knew, was not a matter up for discussion. I only ever debated for the sheer fun of argument, as it was really the only time I got for interesting conversation with any of them. Even if these thoughts were harsh, they were shockingling true.

They were no Ravenclaws, that was for certain.

"Yes, I think I will," and there ended the conversation, me returning to my desk engraving and Eva to her staring. Both of us remained none the wiser to the quiet Shellie, sitting at the table along with us and taking in our every word, soaking in the information like a forgotten sponge in the sink.

* * *

_**AN-**__ So I lied. Yep, I lied pretty big. Cady never sounded like Norah Jones, but it was worth the trick, right? No hard feelings? I only did it because it was absolutely necessary to make this chapter a surprise. And I'm being nice here, I'd planned this chapter to be _way_ later on, but I decided that it was best to be put in here. I needed to show that my characters aren't just a ton of Mary-Sues, at least not to the outside world. My whole idea behind this story was to show how individual perceptions differ for each person, which is why I chose the first person and switching POVs. I assure you, there is a reason for everything I write, no matter how much it seems like there isn't._

_And yes, this author's note is most probably longer than the chapter. I apologize._

_Reviews get you cookies!_

_~Katie xoxo_


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